Monday, February 18, 2013

Sony Direct 2/18/13 - What They Did Wrong

So it's been a long time since the previous Game Heaven (Hell), but Sony today finally did another one. And what do you know?
It sucked. For many reasons.
I'll introduce and explain each one I could find, but if you are a Sony fanboy and find offense to negative comments on Sony, then I do not suggest continuing. If you are part of SCE, tell your idiot president in JP to get his act together if there is a next time. Why did I write this article? Probably because it was so bad, I had to get some of this pity out.
In general, what I plan to say is half-constructive, not purely to poke fun at SCE for no reason.
And you know, it's a short lesson on how not to present.

First,
The presenter, Kawano.


Why the heck is this idiot still presenting? He SUCKS. BAD. Everything he says is stiff, no emotion, and sounds like he is reading off of a script. Because of this, whenever he complements something, it only comes out as robotic, purely "business." Do you remember the 2011 conference? Capcom's Ono told the world Sony rigged his poll, but what did Kawano do? He ignored it and continued with the show, as if he was following a script (and I bet he was).
On top of that, his face is stiff. Scary. And he's not wearing a tie either. Professional.

Next,
Pointless camera angles.
What, I mean, WHAT is the point of these camera angles?! Does Sony know why Nintendo started doing Directs? To tell information DIRECTLY to the users, bypassing the ever-so-reliable net media. That's why you look DIRECTLY at the users. AT THE USERS! So why are you changing the camera angle and looking AT THE CAMERA?
NO, it doesn't make you look cool. And some later shots zoomed up too much on this guy's face.

Next, 
Kawano the idiot again.


People who watched the Direct can tell, but during this scene with Inafune, Kawano clearly shows he knows NOTHING about what Inafune is doing or describing.
"Yeah... Un... Yeah... Un..."
All he was doing is nodding and agreeing, in the most bored of expressions. He didn't really even comment on the game's content or anything. Just agreeing.
To what? I bet he doesn't know, but I bet he does know it looks "good" to discuss things with creators.
But unlike Iwata, he doesn't like games. He has no real interest in them either.
And that results in the dead conversation we got here.


Next,
Changes too small
Still more expensive than the 3DS or PSP.

Only a week.
200 YEN?! What do you want people doing with 200 yen?! Buy a bottle of coke?!
But it's not real cash so you can't really even do that!
Does Sony think just having a whole bunch of campaigns in name is enough?! Where's the content?!

Next, 
Professionalism at its best (sarcasm):

Does anyone see something weird?
By the way, Sony later fixed it. Later. After people found out and took screenshots of this mistake.

Then,
...
 Hmm, where did I see this pose before.....................................
No, couldn't be... There's no way they would rip-off their rival company... Nah...


And without images, but a couple of other points:
-Way too many "hunting action" games. Yes, we get it. You really wanted Monster Hunter.
But developing a whole bunch of games that look like it won't get you anywhere.
Especially when you bunch them together? Forget about vs. Monster Hunter, these games are going to eat each other up.
-FF... Can't show much, huh? It's been quite some time since the previous announcement of the game though, and you still can't show much?


And finally, a word from Sony:
Conclusion:
Sony fanboys are idiots.
You're an idiot if you don't buy it now (at time of CM, no price drop).
You're an idiot for buying it while it was expensive.
In other words, you're an idiot. Everyone are idiots.
By Sony.

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